World Prematurity Day 2014 - Tom's story

Today is World Prematurity Day, raising awareness of premature birth and the effects being born too soon can have on babies and their families. Premature birth is still the biggest cause of death amongst newborns. Thankfully, my own little preemie celebrated his tenth birthday last month, so he is one of the lucky ones.

Tom was born six weeks early in October 2014. My pregnancy had been completely problem free right up until my waters broke unexpectedly six weeks before my due date. I was staying with my parents at the time as Mark was out of the country on business. I rang him straight away and he started his own epic journey across Ireland late on a Sunday night to try to get the quickest flight back to the UK.

My parents drove me straight to hospital and I was admitted. The baby's heartbeat was fine and as I wasn't having any contractions my parents went home and I spent a restless night on my own, thankfully in my own room. I was in complete shock and just couldn't get any sleep. I started mild contractions in the night and the next day the doctor told me that as I was at 34 weeks they wouldn't try to stop the birth. The contractions gradually got stronger as the day wore on, but thankfully Mark made it to the hospital late that morning, having driven across Ireland all night to catch the first flight out in the morning. My labour progressed normally and my precious firstborn son made his way into the world at 8 o'clock on Monday night. He was a tiny 4 lbs 6 oz and looked like a little doll.

Minutes old

My first cuddle

He breathed straight away and after he was dressed I was able to hold him for a brief time before he was whisked away. I didn't see him again for two hours and when I did he was in an incubator with a feeding tube coming out of his nose.

Although little, Tom was quite a tough little chap. He never needed help breathing. This meant that I was able to have the odd little cuddle with him, although he couldn't be out of his incubator for long as he couldn't maintain his body temperature. Mark and I soon learned to change his teeny tiny nappy and give him his feeds through a tube. I think because Tom was my first baby and I had nothing to compare him too, I was never intimidated by his size, I think if I had had a full term baby first and then a preemie I would have been terrified by his fragility. As it was, it all seemed quite normal to us.

Changing Tom's nappy in the incubator

4 Days old

Tube feeding

I remember being so excited when Tom was deemed well enough to move from his incubator into a specially heated 'hot cot'. We were taking one day at a time and it seemed like real progress. The most upsetting time for me was shortly after this when Tom developed jaundice and he had to go under the UV lights. He really didn't like it and it was the first time I cried over the whole situation. Having a premature baby is a bit of an emotional roller coaster!

Tom in his 'hot cot'

Under the UV lights for jaundice

Tom finally graduated to a proper cot and once we had a feeding routine established we were able to take him home. We were in Transitional Care for 11 days before we finally got to bring our little boy home. Thankfully my Mum and Dad had not been idle during my stay in hospital. We had only moved into our new house a few weeks before and had next to nothing for the baby. They made sure we had all the essentials ready for us when we got home, right down to the Moses' basket. We went home to a house full of boxes with our tiny boy.

Finally in a big boy cot!

We didn't leave the house with Tom for a month. It was a cold autumn and we wanted to protect him as much as possible from the temperatures and any potential illnesses. We kept the house pretty toasty and just stayed home and enjoyed him as much as possible.

Tom was small for his age for the first five years and was always behind his peers in his developmental milestones. He has now fully caught up to where he should be and is now a very happy and healthy ten year old.

Tom does have a few minor issues, but we will never know if those were because he was premature or whether he would have had those anyway. We will also never know why he was born early. I have since had three other children, all of whom were full term. All I know is that I am incredibly grateful that my story ends with a happy, healthy ten year old boy. Looking at him now, you would never know he was premature and I will always be grateful to the lovely doctors and midwives who played such a crucial role in his earliest days.

Tom with his six month old baby brother

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Alexander's Birth Story

 

As a warning, this is a very long post and contains details of birth, so if that's not your thing feel free to skip it. I found it cathartic to write it all down, but you are not obliged to read it!

 

My last pregnancy ended with an incredibly rapid labour that resulted in Emma being delivered by her daddy in the kitchen before the ambulance arrived. The whole labour lasted all of half an hour, with Emma arriving less than ten minutes after my waters broke. Given this rapid onset of labour, we had planned a home birth this time, thinking, not unreasonably, that I probably wouldn't make it to the hospital in time. I was really concerned that if it happened that quickly again that I would end up giving birth on my own, or, worse, that I'd end up on my own with the other children home! Every scenario I played in my head involved a rapid birth. Alexander's birth story just goes to prove that the only thing you can predict about labour is that it is entirely unpredictable!

 

About four o'clock on Sunday morning (three days before my due date) I got up to use the bathroom. As I stood up in the bathroom I felt my waters go. I went back to the bedroom and woke Mark and got him to take Emma back to her own bed (she had crept into our bed in the night). I got back into bed and confidently expected everything to start kicking off fairly quickly. We waited until six o'clock to ring Mark's parents as they had to come from Derby, with a journey of 75 minutes. Although I hadn't felt any contractions, I still expected that when I stood up it would all start.

 

Mark's parents arrived in due course and still nothing! We rang the labour ward, who told us to come in so they could check that my waters really had gone and to make sure the baby was okay. I actually rather wanted to have the baby in hospital, so I was quite pleased to think that I was heading in and was going to make it without giving birth in the car! We went in and got checked over and were given our options. Because my waters had gone and the baby was now open to infection, I was told that if I hadn't gone into labour naturally within 24 hours they would induce me. I was also given the option of being induced that day, but the midwife was clearly leading us away from this. We were told that 80% of women naturally go into labour within 24 hours of their waters breaking, were booked in for an induction the next day and were sent on our merry way. I was rather disappointed! I had made it to the hospital, where I wanted to have the baby, and was basically being sent home again. I had been told that given my history of quick labours that it would all happen fairly quickly once it got going, so I thought I wouldn't make it back in again once I got home. Mark and I decided to hang around the hospital for a while in case the twinges I was feeling turned into contractions, but they didn't and we eventually went home.

 

Sunday was such a surreal day. Having been confidently expecting a rapid labour, here I was with the hours ticking by since my waters broke and nothing was happening. I felt quite unsettled and couldn't eat anything. I went to bed that night, still half expecting to have a home birth sometime in the night. My twinges turned into irregular contractions during the night. They weren't very painful and were quite far apart, but it was enough to disturb my sleep. I could feel a gush of fluid with every contraction and assumed it was my waters. When the contractions were about ten minutes apart we rang the labour ward for advice. Given my previous rapid labours, they decided to send a midwife out to me. After we got off the phone, I pulled back the duvet and prepared to stand up only to find that I was lying in a pool of blood. The absorbent mat I was lying on was completely soaked in it and I have to say it was rather shocking. I was immediately terrified I was losing the baby! We rang the labour ward back and they sent out an ambulance. Unfortunately during this time Lily woke up, but thankfully Mark's Mum and Dad were spending the night, so my mother-in-law went in and sat with Lily. Thankfully I had been able to hide the blood when Lily came into our room, so she didn't see anything.

 

The ambulance arrived fairly quickly and I was incredibly relieved to feel the baby move whilst I was talking to the paramedic. At least I knew it was alive at that point! I was strapped into a chair and waved to Lily as I was carried downstairs and out into the spring dawn. Mark grabbed my hospital bags and we were rushed into hospital under the blue light. I was so worried about the baby, but I have to say how lovely I thought the two paramedics were.

 

As soon as they got me into hospital I was immediately surrounded by numerous people who set about checking for the baby's heartbeat, putting in a cannula, putting on surgical stockings and basically being very busy. It was a little overwhelming! I was so worried when the initial heartbeat they picked up was obviously much slower than a baby's heartbeat should be, but they quickly realised that it was my heartbeat they were picking up and were able to then find the baby's. The baby was in an awkward position, so they eventually clipped a monitor on his head so they could monitor him constantly. I was given fluids by IV and exchanged my blood-soaked nightdress for a hospital gown. I was examined and found to be only 2cm dilated. Not exactly the birth I had expected!

 

They monitored the baby for half an hour or so. The baby was doing well, so they decided to send me up to delivery ward, with the proviso that if I hadn't progressed in two hours time they would induce me. All I wanted was the baby out by this point, just so I could make sure it was alright. Everyone still seemed confident that because I have had such quick labours before, that it was going to happen quickly once labour started properly. As I stood up to get into the wheelchair I had the most overpowering contraction and I hoped that finally things were going to happen.

 

When I got upstairs they hooked me back up to the monitor and had to reattach the clip to the baby's head, which had come off. It was very reassuring to be able to hear the baby's heartbeat constantly, but the downside to being monitored constantly was that I was stuck labouring on my back. I find contractions considerably more painful in that position, that coupled with the shock of the morning meant that I wasn't coping as well with the pain as I have done in my previous labours. The contractions were still varying considerably in intensity and were very irregular. When they checked me two hours later and I was only 3cm dilated, my heart sank! At about this point my contractions started being back to back with no break between. I thought there was no way I could cope with this for several more hours so I asked for pethidine.

 

The midwife injected the pethidine and told me it would take about fifteen to twenty minutes to start working. The contractions were very intense by this point and shortly after I felt the need to push. It took a few pushes this time (I think because I was on my back instead of upright as I was with Emma), but my little baby boy made his way into the world at 9.45am, just before the pethidine started working. I had gone from 3cm to 10cm and wanting to push in around half an hour. They were all right...once labour started properly it was all over very quickly! I was so relieved to have my little baby safely in my arms as it had been a rather traumatic morning. To know he was healthy was an indescribable relief and I was so happy to finally be able to hold him. Mark was amazingly supportive throughout the entire thing and I couldn't have got through it without him. The father doesn't usually get much mention in birth stories, but I cannot express enough how much it means to have such a wonderful husband to support me. I am very lucky.

 

The scare of waking in a pool of blood certainly made Alexander's birth my most traumatic and it was also the most painful, but at the end of it all I have another wonderful son and I am grateful to God for a safe delivery and a healthy baby. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat to get my beautiful baby boy.

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Introducing...

Alexander David Robert P-

7lbs 10 oz

Born May 12th at 9.45am

Welcome to the world little one!

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38 Weeks Pregnant

38 weeks and 2 days pregnant with Podling Number 4

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18/52

"A portrait of my children once a week, every week in 2014"

 

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The Nursery

It still needs a few finishing touches, but the nursery is pretty much finished! I was on a very tight budget for the nursery, so managed to put this together for less than £15. We were very lucky to be given the cot for nothing and my parents very kindly bought the chest of drawers as a 'new baby' present for us. Everything else are things we had anyway, or things I have been able to make very cheaply. I am still on the lookout for the right lamp at the right price, but I am ever so pleased with how the nursery looks and feels. I like to just go in there and sit and enjoy it. It won't be long until its little occupant will arrive now and it feels wonderful to know that the nursery is all ready.

The picture above the chest was a cheap frame I bought in Home Bargains and I simply filled it with Beatrix Potter characters I printed off the Internet. The pine chest of drawers is a generous 'New Baby' gift from my parents. They even bought a load of new terry babygros and little vests to put in them. Is there anything sweeter than clean, white little baby clothes! Thank you Mum and Dad, I love them!

I made these pictures for Lily and she has generously allowed the new baby to have use of them

A pretty Wedgewood plate hangs on the wall above the cot. This hung in the room when it was Lily's and she has kindly left it in there for the new baby to enjoy.

The picture frame was an extravagant 50p from a local charity shop and I printed an image from The Tale of Peter Rabbit from the Internet to put in it. The Wedgewood plate was a childhood present from my Godfather. I used to have a little cup to match it, but I used to let the children use it and unfortunately it got broken.

This pretty little fabric plaque was an eBay find

Tom's Christening shoes, hung up with crochet lace.

I put this wreath together last night. When I know whether the baby is a boy or a girl I will add a blue or pink ribbon accordingly.

The cot canopy isn't actually Beatrix Potter, but it does have lots of little bunnies in clothes all over it. Emma had it on her cot and I think it looks sweet in here too.

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13/52

"A portrait of my children once a week, every week in 2014"

 

Tom, this week you:

• Enjoyed some extra time home from school. You gagged on your lunch at school and thanks to the school's policy that you cannot go back to school for 24 hours after you've been sick you got to spend a day at home with me even though there was nothing wrong with you. It's a silly policy, but I loved getting to spend some extra time with you.
• Had another bonus day off because your teacher was on strike on Wednesday. It was a good week for some Mummy/ Tom time!
• Were less than impressed when I told you that we had to go to school on Wednesday anyway for the Mother's Day school lunch with Lily and Emma.
• Thankfully seemed to really enjoy aforementioned Mother's Day lunch with your sisters and me.
• Are doing very well according to your teacher on parents' evening. She said your mental agility is excellent!
• Made me a lovely picture frame for Mother's Day and had the patience to wait until Sunday to give it to me.
• Had lots of fun with your uncles on Mothering Sunday.

 

Lily, this week you:

• Were incensed that Tom got to spend so much time at home this week when he wasn't ill!
• Were really disappointed when I couldn't come to our original Mother's Day lunch on Tuesday. You were looking forward to having me to yourself.
• Enjoyed our rescheduled lunch on Wednesday, even though you had to share me with your brother and sister. You did get very sad when it was time for me to leave though.
• Your teacher said lots of nice things about you on parents' evening. He said for you to keep doing what you are doing.
• Made me a lovely card and picture frame for Mother's Day.
• Had a wonderful time in the woods on Saturday
• Loved playing with your uncles on Mothering Sunday

 

Emma, this week you:

• Enjoyed the novelty of Mummy coming in to eat lunch with you at school. You loved showing me where I had to take my tray and put my cutlery. I loved having lunch with you and your brother and sister.
• You gave me a lovely little pot with a sunflower seed planted in it for Mother's Day and made a lovely card to go with it.
• Had a lovely report from your teacher on parents' evening. I am so glad you have finally settled happily into school, even if I do still miss you terribly at home!
• Had a great time playing with Lily in the woods on Sunday. I don't know how you didn't feel cold, but you insisted you were warm enough in your short sleeves!
• Had fun decorating me with the sequins that fell off my Mother's Day card!
• Loved having all the family together on Mothering Sunday and had a great time playing Superdogs!

 

Podling Number 4 (33 weeks pregnant), we are really getting close to meeting you now! I have been exceedingly aware of your head this week and it is obvious you are running out of room in there! Someone very kindly gave us a cot for you this week, so now you will have somewhere to sleep when you outgrow your Moses basket. I'm really wanting to nest in earnest now. I am keen to start washing all our baby clothes and have moved the bedroom around to that I can have you sleeping next to my side of the bed. I'm getting so excited to meet you now little one, but don't be in a hurry as I have so much I want to get done before you arrive! I want everything ready so that I can just soak you up and enjoy you when you get here.

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33 Weeks Pregnant

 33 weeks and 3 days pregnant with Podling Number 4

Obviously, if the camera is out then the girls want in on the action...

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12/52

"A portrait of my children once a week, every week in 2014"

 

 

Bit of a 52 Week project fail for me this week! I don't have individual portraits of the Podlings this week, so this picture of the three of them taken at Biddulph Grange Garden will have to suffice.

 

 

 

Podling Number 4 (32 weeks pregnant), this week we had our NHS growth scan at 31 Weeks and 5 Days. You are growing splendidly and obliged us with a lovely profile shot. It is always a thrill to get a glimpse of your world.  I'm fairly sure I saw you trying to put your hand in your mouth, which was unbelievably sweet!

 

You are definitely head down and are, I suspect, quite well engaged. My bump is very low and I am very aware of your head when I am walking, which is somewhat uncomfortable at times! I am starting to feel VERY pregnant, but I don't mind in the slightest. I love being pregnant and it is such a privilege to be growing a new life...your life, little one! I can't wait to hold you in my arms, but I am quite content to keep you safe inside for now.



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31 Week Scan

Ultrasound scan of Podling Number 4 at 31 weeks 5 days

A little late because I've had some trouble getting my scanner to talk to my computer, here is my latest growth scan of Podling Number 4, taken just three days after my 4D Scan. The baby is growing nicely and is following the same growth line beautifully. The baby obviously loves to have a hand up by his/her face as the same hand that kept getting in the way of my 4D scan was once again up by the face. It actually looked at one point as though the baby had opened its mouth and was putting its hand or fingers in it, but it is so hard to make out exactly what is going on in the 2D scans.

The NHS scan measured the baby at around 4lb 5oz, 5oz heavier than the scan the previous week. I doubt very much the baby put on that much weight in a single weekend, so it just goes to show how approximate these things are. Suffice to say the baby is an excellent weight for its gestation, so we don't need to be concerned on that score.

I have one more scan to look forward to in the middle of April, by which time the baby will be sufficiently large that I will just be able to get a face shot. It won't be too much longer before I will be able to see the baby in person though. I'm getting so excited!

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Nursery Dreams

Despite this being my fourth baby, I have never had the pleasure of doing up a nursery before the birth of a child. We moved house about two months before Tom was due, and then the little man decided to surprise us by arriving six weeks early! We had nothing ready, his nursery furniture was all still flat-packed and we had to try to put his nursery together whilst adjusting to life as new parents! Fun! I didn't need to do up a nursery for Lily as she simply used the nursery that Tom had and Tom moved out and into his first 'big boy room'.

Fast forward a few years to a new house and another new baby. The room that was destined to become Emma's room was originally our office (for office, read 'room full of office furniture and miscellaneous junk', it was never actually used as an office!). Emma was seven months old before I got the room straight enough that we could put a cot in there!  It's not easy to sort these things out when you have three children under five! Luckily, Emma was tiny, so she was able to stay in her Moses basket for ages. I tried very hard to make the room look as much like a nursery as possible, but there was really no disguising the office furniture she has had to share a room with for the past four years.

This is my last chance to indulge in the fun of getting a baby's room ready, and at the rate things are currently going it is looking like the pleasure of doing up a nursery is again going to have to wait until after the baby is born! Although Emma and Lily are going to share a room, the office furniture is still in Emma's room and Lily is still in her old room (which will be the baby's room). Sorting everything out is proving to be a huge undertaking and at 32 weeks pregnant I may have the drive, but I certainly don't have the stamina or the energy! I tire easily and suffer from back ache if I am on my feet too long. This is driving this nesting Mummy a bit potty as I am desperate to get things organised before our newest addition arrives.

Since the reality is still a long way off, I thought I'd indulge in a little fantasy nursery preparation. I plan to decorate the baby's room with a Beatrix Potter theme. I love the works of Beatrix Potter and think her charming illustrations are eminently suitable for a nursery. They are both gender neutral and timelessly classic and are perfect for baby! Since this is a fantasy and in fantasies money is no object, I have been amusing myself by looking at the delightful nursery furniture and furnishings of Dragons of Walton Street. Way, way out of our budget, but a mother can dream for her unborn child can't she!

This lovely cot is £1355. Ouch! 

Pretty nursery bedding, designed by Jane Churchill. This lovely cot quilt will set you back £235. 

How about this delightful beechwood hairbrush for baby? A mere snip at £80!

A personalised print is a mere £315!

I absolutely adore this dresser. Shame it is £2595!

Whilst we are on the subject of fantasies. I would love the Dragons of Walton Street Flower Fairy range for the girls' room. The Flower Fairies were another childhood favourite of mine and I am confident the girls would love this range...

Fun though it is to dream, I know that my baby will have everything it needs regardless of whether or not there is a pretty nursery waiting for it. Stuff doesn't matter, people matter. Our baby will be born into a loving home full of people who will love and cherish it. This baby will want for nothing that actually matters and I am so looking forward to holding him/her in my arms.

The pictures in this post are from the Dragon of Walton Street website. Their beautiful furniture is well worth a look, even if it is very expensive. A cat can look at a king!
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11/52

"A portrait of my children once a week, every week in 2014"

Tom, this week you:

• Had fun playing in the park after school almost every night.
• Are loving football club after school on Wednesdays
• Have been working hard on your Tackle Fire map.
• Were rather disturbed by the 4D scan pictures of the baby!
• Loved the stepping stone bridges at Deep Hayes Country Park. You went over and back across them several times just for the fun of it. 
• Fell in love with a tree!

Lily, this week you:

• Have been loving this milder weather and have playing outside as much as possible after school.
• Are really enjoying playing football after school on Wednesday.
• Had lots of fun decorating the front of the house with chalks. You and Emma made it look very pretty!
• Have been drawing pictures, making bookmarks and writing lots of thoughtful little notes for everyone. You always seem to have a pen in your hand!
• Suffered a little with bad dreams at the start of this week. You seem fine again now though.

Emma, this week you:

• Have been playing outside with your sister every night after school. You two have been playing so beautifully together this week.
• Had lots of fun chalking the house (and yourself!) with Lily.
• Have added lots of sticks to the stick family collection that you are building up next to the front door. It's starting to look like a giant bird has built a nest there!
• Persist in coming into Mummy and Daddy's bed once every night. You arrive at about 2.30am and announce, "I've come for a cuddle". You do now stay in your own bed when I take you back again after your cuddle (if I don't fall asleep...then you get to stay a bit longer!)
• Have been singing to the baby in Mummy's tummy.

Podling Number 4 (31 weeks pregnant), this week we saw your face for the first time! Mummy was beyond excited and although you weren't in the best position for the scan, I do feel I have a pretty good idea what you are going to look like. Your brother and sisters were not sure what to make of your 4D scan images though! I think they prefer the 2D ones! The scan estimated that you are already approximately 4 lbs in weight. I don't think you are going to be a small baby!

At my midwife's appointment on Thursday you were head down and already engaged. Your heartbeat was as strong as ever...a lovely sound! I still feel you moving around lots, which is always reassuring. I think the iron tablets are already starting to help with my anaemia as I now find I am not just dozing off every time I sit in an armchair! I've found the energy to start sorting out the house again. Mummy is nesting!

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Preview of Upcoming Attractions

Oh my goodness, what a wonderful morning! Today, I got to see the face of my littlest Podling in utero...how amazing is that! Since we plan that this will be my last baby, I really wanted to have the chance to experience a 4D ultrasound scan and have been looking forward to today since we booked the scan. However, after an antenatal appointment with my midwife yesterday I was a little apprehensive that I wouldn't actually get to see much of the baby. Apparently, the baby is already engaged, so I was really concerned that we wouldn't be able to see much of the face, and since we don't want to see the other end (boy/girl surprise for us!) I was concerned that we would have wasted a great deal of money!

The baby was, unfortunately, not in a very good position for the scan. Its face was seriously squashed up against the wall of my uterus and the sonographer told us that this makes it a lot harder to get a clear image of the baby. As if this weren't bad enough, the baby kept its hand over its face for much of the scan and the umbilical cord was across the lower part of the face! Our lovely lady sonographer was wonderful! She kept at it for absolutely ages trying to make sure that we got some good images and had a good experience. We saw the baby open and close its mouth, wave its little fingers and stick its little tongue in and out. So precious!

The scan we booked should only have been 10-15 minutes long, but we were in there for a good half an hour (at no extra cost) as the lady valiantly tried to get some good images. I think she did a wonderful job and I am really pleased with the pictures, which are, I think, excellent given the awkward position of the baby.  I have a disk of 47 images and a DVD of the whole scan to immortalise the experience. You are lucky I have restricted myself to just posting seven of them on here...it was hard to choose which ones to share! A huge thank you to the very nice lady sonographer at Premier Scans in Lichfield!

We also had a wellness check of the baby included in the package and everything is looking wonderful. The baby is approximately 4lbs in weight and his/her femur measured 59 mm. The baby is well within normal parameters for my dates is looking lovely and healthy. We were also told that the baby has hair already! Emma had masses of hair when she was born, so it looks like this one my take after his/her sister!

My 4D scan was a wonderful experience and I loved every minute of it. I feel like I have bonded even more deeply with the baby and I just can't wait to see his/her face and kiss that beautiful nose. I am in love with that nose!

Hand up by his/her cheek. That hand spent a lot of time in front of baby's face! I look forward to holding those adorable little fingers in my own in due course.

With mouth open

You can only see half of the baby's face here, but I've included it to show the little smile.

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